The Third Parent

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Having to have lived in an Asian household, I’ve learnt that many things are more different than people actually think they are. It teaches you many norms that are not normal here in America. For example, like taking your shoes off before going into your house, having no shoes in your room, living with your entire family, etc. Like how each culture has its own expectations and roles I had one of my own. Me and my family moved to the US when I was 2 years old. After my brother was born, I knew I would take care of him, but I did not become the older sister. I actually became the “third parent” since my parents were always so busy and were out a lot. Which is why I was always expected to be the perfect girl. The one that my brother could look up to, ask questions, do whatever I do, follow my lead, and be the best version of him. I absolutely adore my brother so I didn’t really care but I realized how it shaped me and the things around me. This role that my parents had expected of me made me struggle a bit. For instance, I was always expected to get nothing less than a 100% on every homework assignment, quiz, test, and project no matter what. Not only that but I went to many different classes from the age of 5, all the way from swimming and karate to Tamil school. Also, this role changed my friendships a lot because whoever I was friends with were also my brothers friends. I’ll never know if they found that annoying, but it doesn’t really matter cause I would do anything for my brother even though he doesn’t realize it.



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